Ask Babe: Beets?

Dear Babe,

Do you know any great beet salad recipes?

K***

Dear Person With Stained Teeth/Red Poop,

As someone who has lived on hydroponic celery for weeks at a time, I’m generally supportive of anyone willing to embrace the benefits of a raw diet. That being said, you’ll want to pick options that don’t bleed all over that Alaïa dress you just got for your birthday.

I like to think of beets as the Taylor Swift of the vegetable family: they’re innocent on the outside but totally fucked up on the inside.

So, here is a yummy recipe for a beet salad sans beets. It’s super easy, super healthy, and honestly one of the best meals I’ve ever had, so you’re welcome in advance:

Step 1. Wash ~ 2 ounces Baby Kale in oxygenated water

Step 2. Spin dry

Step 3. Top with the juice of half a lemon (optional)

Step 4. Go to the gym and do a 2 hour elliptical sesh

Hope this helps.