I’m going to Bonnaroo! It’s hot, dirty, and overall not very chic. Please help me prepare mentally and physically.
Dear Muddy Boo Boo Child,
Although I’m not sure how I feel about your spending the weekend in a place where people trade livestock for wives, here are some tips for surviving music hell.
1. Erect a 20 square foot, air conditioned tent in the style of an Asian Versailles (if you’re going to take part in a backwoods orgy, you might as well be freezing cold, comfortable and surrounded by antique oriental/french furnishings while doing it).
2. Invest in a TempurPedic California King (A good night’s sleep will make you look less like a hippie).
3. Charter a helicopter in case of drought/tornado (It’s always important to have a chic getaway plan, especially while in Tennessee).
4. Don’t go.