Ask Babe: On Beauty Pageants

Dear Babe,

I would love to hear your opinion on the 2013 Miss America Pageant.

Please and thank you.

J***

Dear Donald Trump,

While I’m still not sure why we continue to celebrate women who wear stripper heels, too much hair spray, and have orange skin, watching these Paula Abdul impersonators struggle to form sentences on national television, can be kind of amazing, so let’s review.

Miss West Virginia

 Loves plastic surgery, cats, and is 85.

Miss Utah

A Disney villain.

Miss New York

Kirstie Alley X Jenny Craig X Ali Larter X Kate Hudson.

Miss South Carolina

Local newscaster.

Miss Virginia

Professional Wrestler.

Miss Connecticut

Janice Dickenson impersonator.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.

Can someone explain to me the difference between Miss America and Miss USA.

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