Babe Goes To Auction

The most expensive carpet in the world just sold for $33,765,000 at Sotheby’s in New York City.

While I don’t particularly give a flying fuck about 17th century Persian rugs, this antique reminded me of all the luxury items I’ve bid on (and lost) to billionaires.

1 Million Dollar “Pearl Royal” Vibrator

Solid platinum, diamond studded vibrator = A gift to your clitoris.

2 Million Dollar Monopoly Set

Not really a fan of board games. Definitely a fan of diamond encrusted dice.

60,000 Dollar Bottle Of Water

This custom designed bottle (filled with triple distilled Icelandic glacier water and particles of gold dust) is a must for anyone in search of a decadent, calorie free treat.

15.3 Million Dollar iPhone 5

600 White Diamonds. 135 grams of 24-carat gold. Sapphire glass screen.


1.6 Million Dollar Tibetan Dog

Doubles as a luxury rug/sofa/throw.

11 Million Dollar Christmas Tree

Jesus would definitely approve.

250 Million Dollar Hope Diamond


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