As either a late Independence Day or an early Bastille Day gift, I’m giving myself this bed, the Savoir Royal State Bed. It’s literally the most expensive bed in the world, and there’s only sixty, and I’ve already reserved four (one for my room, one for my dad, one for my therapist’s office, and one extra). Don’t hate me? But if you want one, you should probably call soon, because I suspect Gwyneth has already bought several for the Knowles/Carter family to celebrate the release of Magna Carta Holy Grail and Blue Ivy’s half birthday.
A good bed makes you feel like a guest in your own home – slightly uncomfortable and apprehensive. It’s also extremely short, presumably so your feet hang off the bottom edge while you sleep, promoting healthy blood flow. It remains comfortable in temperature and level of softness, allowing you to sleep for ten to twelve hours at a time, but also provides a firmness, giving you somewhat of a workout while you’re unconscious. You awake feeling lean, peaceful, and so exhausted that after one glass of lemon water you’re ready to sleep for another day or two. It’s the feeling and the resulting weight loss many people claim you can only achieve by doing yoga. And at almost 200,000 dollars, it probably does something amazing for your hair.
You know what… I think this bed might be unreasonably fucking expensive. Even for me. I mean, I’m still getting one. It really is a must-have. But my dad can totally live without.