To a Tee

Clothes send a powerful message to the people allowed to look at your face and body.  For example, Alexander Wang says “Hello, I am doing the bare minimum to get through this day,” while Alexander McQueen says “Yes, I know this shouldn’t be capable of gracing human skin but somehow I make it acceptable.”

Well, sometimes I don’t want my clothes to send any message.  Sometimes I just want a completely blank canvas to work with, and don’t even suggest yoga pants because I don’t have fucking yoga pants.  (It is one of the infinite benefits of having your yoga instructor make house calls.)  Anyway, what I do have is an intern whose only job is to monitor a Google Alert on Kanye West, and yesterday morning the solution to my problem materialized:

That is the “Hip Hop Tee,” a collaborative design by Kanye and A.P.C.  I would have bought thirteen right then and there if it was offered in XXXS, but there were only like three mediums and an XL left, so I decided against it.  But it did awaken a desire inside of me – a desire for the perfect not quite fitted, almost invisible white T-shirt.  I had to find it. 

T by Alexander Wang, $80

Very nice; not sure about the pocket.

GOOP Tee, $90

Of course Gwyneth has a restrained, elegant entry.

Dior, $149

A little busy, but it’ll do.

Maison Martin Margiela, $105

Also sold out?!  Am I late to this???

Gucci, $250

Not sure how I feel about this one.

Rick Owens, $301

Here it is, search is over.  This shows the perfect amount of boob shadow, will still be high contrast with my skin tone even though I haven’t tanned since I was thirteen, and is at a price point I feel comfortable with.   Namaste.

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