Why I’m Not Moving To Sweden

Masturbation is legal on public beaches in Stockholm.

Now, American sexhibitionists are relocating to Sweden, a country that is paler, less clothed, and apparently more willing to allow 65 year old men to ejaculate into the sea than the United States.

Although I’m all about living on the sexual cutting edge, I just prefer to see a flaccid penis at the beach. Sooooo, while this new law may work well for sexually unrepressed Swedes, I’ll probably opt for the clothing optional waters of the French Riviera instead this coming summer.

Sweden is chic, but France is chicer.

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  • XOXO
  • XOXO

  • sdfghjkl

    you wouldn’t go to stockholm anyway, it’s shit. far up north or far down south is where you wanna go

  • liz

    Fucking ewww. I just vommed, and I didn’t even make myself. I’m all about slutty shit, but this is too much. I just can’t. Please don’t ever write about this again. And hurry up with your fucking book. I’m bored…

  • McFeces

    I just heard about this happening again last week. Apparently as long as you’re not masturbating “at someone” it’s ok