For all you masochists venturing into the void otherwise known as Black Friday, I partnered with Rdio (much chicer than Spotify, trust) and curated a playlist that will aid you on what will no doubt be a troubling journey:
1) Flim – Aphex Twin
Get in a place of zen and focus on the mission ahead. Feel thin/modely because you only had a glass of white wine, a Marlboro Light and one serving of green beans for Thanksgiving dinner.
2) Free Your Mind – Cut Copy
Center yourself, breathe, repeat your mantra. Walk into a Nordstrom. Trust that the universe will deliver a Helmut Lang angora sweater for 70% off.
3) Do My Thang – Miley Cyrus
Realize that trolling the sales rack isn’t for you and go to Barneys instead.
4) Obsession – Animotion
See the hiking boot-esque platforms from Prada F/W 2013 and realize your life has been incomplete up to this point.
5) Raped And Freezin’ – Alice Cooper
Buy the Prada platforms. Feel triumphant. Move to the ready-to-wear floor.
6) Violet – Hole
Realize they’re sold out of The Row handbag of your dreams and feel like dying.
7) Nobody Asked Me (If I Was Okay) – Sky Ferreira
Find a quiet dressing room in which you can curl up and silent scream.
8) Enjoy The Silence – Depeche Mode
Silent screaming is basically the equivalent of 30 minutes of intense cardio. Try on a blazer and practice your catwalk.
9) Pepper – Butthole Surfers
Find an incredible Rodarte dress. Even though the world can be a cold place, all is not lost.
10) Inspector Norse – Todd Terje
Celebrate your purchases. You did great.
11) Shoplifters Of The World Unite – The Smiths
Play a song for Winona. Send her good vibrations.
12) Always Forever – Cults
Accept that shopping is your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, lover, mother, father, sister, brother and learn to live with it.
In light of the holiday season or whatever, I’m giving away a free yearlong subscription to Rdio to one of you psychos. To enter, leave a comment below and tell me the song that makes you want to spiral out of control with drugs, shopping, alcohol, etc. I’ll choose my favorite and announce the winner on Monday, December 2nd.
And if you’re chic enough to already be following me on Rdio, let me know and I might follow you back.
Sasha Pivovarova by Craig McDean for W