Praise Be To God (Tom Ford)

If you’re anything like, me then you’ve probably been on acid in the Tom Ford store, wanting to buy everything (yet unable to try on any clothes because your body is rejecting the feel of new textures), and deciding to focus on makeup and scents instead. This would have led you to the cosmetics counter, where you discovered the only red nail polish you’ll ever need, foundation that makes your skin look like silk, perfume that makes you smell like a sexy grandma, and sparkly lip gloss. You might have been horrified because you’ve never been a person who condones the use of sparkly lip gloss, but you know what? In this moment, on this particular acid trip, it all makes sense. And then you might have gone upstairs to lie down on the floor of the shoe section and realized that Tom Ford isn’t just a genius, he’s actually God. And you’re not just in one of his many stores, you’re actually in heaven. And then you might have gotten arrested for loudly praying (in French) to Tom Ford himself, but you guess that, in retrospect, once the drugs have worn off and Mabinty has bailed you out of jail, that this experience is just another part of the crazy journey we call “life.”