Babe Walker’s Guide To Superbowl Sunday

So I’m often conflicted about taking part in Superbowl celebrations. On the one hand I morally object to a day devoted to watching football, loud screaming people, and platters of gross communal food. On the other hand, I’m always invited to a bunch of really chic Superbowl parties, my boyfriend used to play for the New York Giants, and my future boyfriend, Tom Brady plays for the New England Patriots (?).

Anyways, here are a few Do’s and Don’ts to help you get through “the big game.”

Don’t: Watch football.

Do: Pretend like you’re watching football.

Don’t: Chili

Do: Vegan chili

Don’t: Wear anything purchased from the NFL store.

Do: Wear anything Rag and Bone, Givenchy, or vintage.

Do: Cucumbers, carrot sticks, or kale chips.

Don’t: Chicken wings, hot dogs, or any other kind of chips.

Don’t: Bruno Mars.

Do: Re-watch Beyonce’s Grammy’s performance instead.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • twitchitt noise

    I couldn’t agree more!!

  • Ellie

    Babe, your website is fucking with your website.