I went on maybe the best date of my life last night. Maybe.
I laughed really hard at his jokes and some of them were actually funny, he doesn’t drive an annoying car, and he’s never slept with anyone I know well. Check, check, check. He’s not a celebrity, but he’s not not a celebrity so I’ll conceal his identity for now. I’ll obv keep you posted if things are taken to the next level, meaning: I’ll totally tell you his name if I go down on him or he goes down on me within the next week. But today I raise my hands in prayer that when the day comes for us to both take our clothes off, whether that be tomorrow or the next day, that his penis be suitable for me, my needs, and my vagina’s needs. I’m praying. I’m actually begging. Please. I’m a good person. Let it be good.