Beat Babe: Divergent

Shailene, Shailene, Shailene, 

Who are you?

Where are you?

Are you southern?

Once upon a time, you were in a movie with George Clooney.

But now, you are divergent.

Once upon a time, your star was shining bright in the cold clear night.

But now, you are divergent.

Once upon a time, you were thin, had perfect skin, and could have been my twin.

But now, you are divergent.

Once upon a time, you were in The Spectacular Now, and were quite well renowned.

But now, you are divergent.

This movie looks fucking horrible.

Please get your shit together.  




Have you seen Kate Winslet’s nipples?



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4 responses to “Beat Babe: Divergent”

  1. Grammar Nazi Avatar
    Grammar Nazi

    Everyone has seen Kate Winslets nipples.

  2. canshestop Avatar

    This poem failed to mention her disastrous performance in “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” which apart from being disgusting also made everyone get pregnant and gained yet another bad stereotype for Americans.

  3. katie Avatar

    Divergent was a decent movie. And why would you bash someone you don’t even know?

  4. Ladybird Avatar

    I camped next to Shay Woodley at a music festival in Costa Rica a few weeks ago and she was a fucking angel. She also suggested I brush my teeth with blue volcanic clay to remove any metallic toxins from my body…

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