I’m in love.
I really love cocaine, but I cant afford it all the time. Help.
Love,
J**
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
I know you’ve run into some financial issues, of late. You really need to chill with the coke, babe. It’s not cute. I get that you love coke. Who the fuck doesn’t love coke? Everyone loves coke! It’s coke.
Moderation is key here. Once a week, max. Actually once a month, max for you. Restore peoples faith in you. You could probably have a major comeback if you just laid off the powder. K bye.
LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.