First of all, put down your almond latté and take a moooooment to remember this look. THIS LOOK?? Hello? Everything else that anyone ever tried to make happen on the Grammys red carpet is death after this look. Love it or hate, you have to love it. The shoe is heinous but I’m letting it slide. Don’t pay attention to the shoe.
Toni Braxton has a husky voice that reminds me of being ten and grinding with hot guys at bar-mitzvahs. I think “You’re Makin’ Me High” was playing the first time I frenched a guy with braces on. I had braces for one week, as a joke.
The reason I’m in the mood to celebrate Toni at this juncture, is that, you may not know this, but I’ve been going through a super heartbreak-y time in my life. I’ll get into it later, but jesus, I’m fucking exhausted. 90s R&B slow jams are all that I have right now.
So thank you Faith, Mary, Monica, and most of all Toni, for not only giving me a reason to love myself again, but for reminding me that a ripped, white, satin sheet is often the best choice. Especially on Halloween. And especially when you’re newly single and acting like a slut but in a cute way, which I might be doing.