Ask Babe

Ask Babe: Um. Hi? Me? You?

Dear Babe, You’re a dumb fucking cunt. Read a book. I thought you’d be skinny n’ pretty but you’re ugly n’ fat w tiny beady eyes n’ a pig nose. Get some work done if you’re so rich. Fat cunt. …

Continue reading

Posted in Ask Babe, Babe, Therapy, Writing | 6 Comments

Ask Babe: Escort?

Babe, I’m thinking of becoming an escort. Thoughts? T****   Dear Kim Kardashian, I don’t know who you are, I don’t know what you look like, I don’t know what your hair looks like, and I don’t know whether, as …

Continue reading

Posted in Ask Babe, Jobs | 5 Comments

Ask Babe: Love Affair

Babe, I’m in love. I really love cocaine, but I cant afford it all the time. Help. Love, J**   Dear Lindsay Lohan, I know you’ve run into some financial issues, of late. You really need to chill with the …

Continue reading

Posted in Ask Babe, Drugs, Lifestyle | 1 Comment

Ask Babe: Scent-ual

Hey Babe, I’m on the hunt for the perfect perfume so I was wondering, what’s your favorite/signature scent? Psycho for Life, V*******   Scent-less Psycho, It’s sooooooooo important to have a fragrance story for every occasion. I can’t stress that …

Continue reading

Posted in Ask Babe, Beauty, I Am Beauty, Lifestyle | 3 Comments