Category Archives: Babies
It Happens
I’m not pregnant, but for the first time in my life, I’m seriously wondering what it would be like if I was. I know, every psycho with a vagina goes through this at some point. I’m not special. Bodies are … Continue reading
The Unborn Royal
In today’s torturous news, Kate Middleton is pregnant. This makes sense because she’s 30, and in order to have kids that don’t look like animal-human hybrids, it’s important to get knocked up by 32 at the very latest. I could … Continue reading
Baby Names
I love my name. It’s more or less the perfect American (slightly British) name for a female child. I’m thankful neither my dad nor my Tai-Tai were celebrities at the time of my birth, because I’m going to be honest, … Continue reading
Ask Babe: Babe-ees?
Babe, I am 37 and I am trying to have a baby. I dont like babies, will this be a problem? Love, A**** Dear Future Nanny Employer, Here is how I see it: You’re a fucking idiot. If you … Continue reading