Category Archives: Headlines
An Open Letter To Taylor Swift
Hey Tay. What Up Girl? (JK) Even though I don’t like you very much or care about your life, I’m pretty sure I want you to find happiness/love. Maybe it’s because I’m such a good person or maybe it’s because … Continue reading
Give Yourself A Gift
With Christmas right around the corner, and the Homeland Season 2 finale being what it was, life can make it hard to stick to your diet. If you feel yourself being cosmically pulled to a plate of cookies, do yourself a favor, … Continue reading
The Unborn Royal
In today’s torturous news, Kate Middleton is pregnant. This makes sense because she’s 30, and in order to have kids that don’t look like animal-human hybrids, it’s important to get knocked up by 32 at the very latest. I could … Continue reading
Sunday Prayers With Babe Walker
Hello, Psychos. Today we are praying for Femen, a topless pussy-gang of feminists who protested in le support of le marriage de gays this weekend in Paris. They accessorize their tits-out looks with body paint and nun’s caps. It’s so next level unchic that … Continue reading