An Open Letter To Taylor Swift

Hey Tay. What Up Girl? (JK) Even though I don’t like you very much or care about your life, I’m pretty sure I want you to find happiness/love. Maybe it’s because I’m such a good person or maybe it’s because …

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Posted in Boyfriends, Celebs, Dating, Death, Headlines, I Am Music, Shamans, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Give Yourself A Gift

With Christmas right around the corner, and the Homeland Season 2 finale being what it was, life can make it hard to stick to your diet. If you feel yourself being cosmically pulled to a plate of cookies, do yourself a favor, …

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Posted in Diet, Headlines, Holidays | Leave a comment

The Unborn Royal

In today’s torturous news, Kate Middleton is pregnant. This makes sense because she’s 30, and in order to have kids that don’t look like animal-human hybrids, it’s important to get knocked up by 32 at the very latest. I could …

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Posted in Babies, Headlines, Therapy | 3 Comments

Sunday Prayers With Babe Walker

Hello, Psychos. Today we are praying for Femen, a topless pussy-gang of feminists who protested in le support of le marriage de gays this weekend in Paris. They accessorize their tits-out looks with body paint and nun’s caps. It’s so next level unchic that …

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Posted in Headlines, Sunday Prayer | Leave a comment