Dear Babe,

Is not waxing ever okay?

S****

Dear Everyone’s Mom,

Are you assuming that I’m going to tell you that bald is always better, bolder, and Baber? Well, you’d be wrong. It’s almost always the best direction to steer your vagina in, but sometimes it’s that little bit natural fur that makes all the difference. I like to keep a bit of contained, minimal and manicured bushiness when:

I’m having an “on again” moment with coke.

My boyfriend expresses an interest.

I’m in Berlin for more than two days. I’ll get cold otherwise and also what kind of gay man would I be if I didn’t have a little stubble for all of my German fans?

I’ve recently watched Boogie Nights.

I’ve recently watched Summer Of Sam.

I’ve recently watched Antichrist (or anything else starring Charlotte Gainsbourg’s vagina).

My therapist or shaman suggests it. You’d be surprised how often this happens.

So, hopefully this will help you distinguish between the instances in life that call for bald and those that don’t. I’m glad I was here to help.