Ask Babe: The Bald and The Beautiful

Dear Babe,

Is not waxing ever okay?

S****

 

Dear Everyone’s Mom,

Are you assuming that I’m going to tell you that bald is always better, bolder, and Baber? Well, you’d be wrong. It’s almost always the best direction to steer your vagina in, but sometimes it’s that little bit natural fur that makes all the difference. I like to keep a bit of contained, minimal and manicured bushiness when:

I’m having an “on again” moment with coke.

My boyfriend expresses an interest.

I’m in Berlin for more than two days. I’ll get cold otherwise and also what kind of gay man would I be if I didn’t have a little stubble for all of my German fans?

I’ve recently watched Boogie Nights.

I’ve recently watched Summer Of Sam.

I’ve recently watched Antichrist (or anything else starring Charlotte Gainsbourg’s vagina).

My therapist or shaman suggests it. You’d be surprised how often this happens.

So, hopefully this will help you distinguish between the instances in life that call for bald and those that don’t. I’m glad I was here to help.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
Posted in Ask Babe, Health, I Am Beauty, I Am Health, Lifestyle | Leave a comment

It's Raining. We should drink. #whitegirlproblems

New Book: New Chapter Leak

I’m literally freaking out that my new book is coming out in literally one week. I can’t even deal with the pressure. My editor and agent and publisher and publicist and healer all think I need to calm down, but honestly if they don’t shut the fuck up I’m gonna kill them all and then have Davis “the intern” (I changed his name from David to Davis yesterday) make it look like a mass suicide.

Anyway I’m releasing one more chapter right now to all of you true PSYCHOS out there. Read it, enjoy it, tell your friends to read it and then buy the book and email Davis and tell him you love him and that he looks really skinny because he could use a pick me up today.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE NEW LEAK

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
Posted in Babe, Book, I Am Culture | Leave a comment

I'll fuck anyone who buys my book. #whitegirlproblems