The Saga Of The Rolex Cosmograph Rainbow Daytona

Every once in awhile, a watch comes along that’s just the right amount of gold, the right amount of diamonds, and the right amount of gay. It’s love at first sight, and you know it would be the perfect summer companion for laying by the pool and drinking lemon smoothies. Well, that’s how I felt when I laid my eyes on this beautiful little Rolex guy. I’m trying a new thing called “being on a budget,” which means I have a financial advisor who tells me how much money I can spend in a month, based on my shopping needs and eventual desire to move out of my dad’s house and get my own place. Yesterday, we had the following email exchange:

 

FROM     Babe Walker <Babe@BabeWalker.com>

TO     Frederick Sw***** <Fred@*****.com>

DATE     Tues,  March 27, 2012 at 12:22 pm

SUBJECT     My Husband

Hi Fred,

I’ve imprinted on a Rolex, (see attached photo, it’s beautiful, I know) and I need you to release some funds to me so that I can purchase said Rolex immediately.

Love,

B

 

FROM     Frederick Sw***** <Fred@*****.com>

TO     Babe Walker <Babe@BabeWalker.com>

DATE     Tues,  March 27, 2012 at 12:30 pm

SUBJECT     Re: My Husband

Babe,

I have looked into the cost of the Rolex, and it far exceeds your monthly budget that we discussed as of two hours ago on our conference call. However, Rolex is willing to allow a layaway purchase which would allow you to pay off the cost of the watch over a period of 4 years. The watch would be in your possession in April 2016. If this is agreeable to you, I will start drafting paperwork.

Best,

Fred

 

FROM     Babe Walker <Babe@BabeWalker.com>

TO     Frederick Sw***** <Fred@*****.com>

DATE     Tues,  March 27, 2012 at 12:32 pm

SUBJECT     Re: re: My Husband

Fred,

What you’re not understanding is that I already bought a Missoni bikini, a Mara Hoffman bikini, and a Michael Kors tank suit because I knew how well they would compliment my new watch. Am I supposed to return these? Am I supposed to not go to any pool parties this summer? Should I stop working out? Stop caring altogether? Do you hate me? Is this personal?

Love,

B

P.S. – There’s no such thing as a “budget” when you’ve met your watch soul mate. I know I just posed a lot of questions, so you can take your time to compose a thoughtful response.

 

FROM     Frederick Sw***** <Fred@*****.com>

TO     Babe Walker <Babe@BabeWalker.com>

DATE     Tues,  March 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

SUBJECT     Re: re: re: My Husband

Babe,

You mentioned on our call earlier that you had a tendency to “imprint” on certain costly items, and that my role was to step in and find a way to limit your overspending habits. I am simply doing my job as your financial advisor. I think you should go about life as usual, but perhaps find a watch that fits within your means.

Best,

Fred

 

FROM     Babe Walker <Babe@BabeWalker.com>

TO     Frederick Sw***** <Fred@*****.com>

DATE     Tues,  March 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

SUBJECT     Re: re: re: re: My Husband

Fred,

I wish I’d never met you.

Love,

B

 

So it looks like I’m not getting my fantasy watch today, or anytime soon, I guess. I’m just going to keep watching the above video and hope that one day, someone will see into my soul and know that they must buy that Rolex for me. I’m talking to you, Dad.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
This entry was posted in Accessories, I Am Fashion, Jewelry, Shopping. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Hannah

    Hmmm. I’ve had the same problems and snarky attitude from my unfashionable trust fund manager. Could you tell him it will affect your self-esteem if you don’t have it?

  • SM_Jennifer

    Brilliant!

  • Josh_pa777

    How much is it? Just out of curiosity