Ask Babe: The Hunger Games

 Babe,

I cannot fucking stop eating. I eat when I’m bored, when I’m drunk, when I’m happy, when I’m depressed, and right after I have a panic attack and/or emotional breakdown. Naturally my stomach and thighs have reacted which is not fucking ok. What do I do to curb my psycho eating habits while still staying semi-sane?

Love,

H*****

 

Eater,

The real question here isn’t why are you eating so much. It’s what are you feeding? Think about it. Think hard. Think super, super hard about what your life is looking like right about now, and then ask yourself this: What hungry alien spirit has inhabited my soul and how can I kill it?

If you’re depressed that your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend has healthier skin than you, it’s probably that. If you’re having anxiety about finding an NBA player or Drake and together birthing two perfect (and chic) kids before the fast-approaching apocalypse at the end of this year, it might be that. If you’ve been listening to a lot of Tori Amos, or watching an irregular number Janeane Garofalo movies, it could be either of the above. The point is, something is off in your life and you aren’t trusting yourself to fix it. If you trusted yourself, then you would have confronted it by now and your thigh situation would be lot less hectic.

Sometimes my best friend, Genevieve, will send me a text about “running into Ryan [Gosling] again” and it will send me into such a hot rage that I’ll blackout and wake up on my kitchen floor next to an empty bag of grapes. Like, I’ll eat an entire bag of grapes. The whole thing. Eating that much sugar is not chic, but sometimes our minds get the best of us. So, my best advice is to spend the week using what I call a Food Shame Journal. Any time you eat, write down what it was, and when. In the margins, jot down a few notes about what was going on in your fucked up life right before you ate. Something will pop up and the answers to your questions will be revealed.

I bet you’re just eating because you feel fat. People do that all the time.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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