Ask Babe: Eyes Wide Slut

Dearest Babe,

I have this college party coming up, and it’s well, a costume party. I usually know how to be chic/well dressed/slutty, but this time, I also wanted something super creative! I kind of have something in mind, but truuuust, if there’s someone out there that can help me, its you.

xxx,

J******

 

Eyes Wide Slut,

My first thought is this: the school year is kind of over as far as I knew, so what are you doing still going to college parties? But if you insist on going to what will most likely be an orgy of Jeffrey Campbells and American Apparel bodysuits, then so be it. Also, it would have helped to know what the theme of this party is, so that I could better assist you. In other words, get your shit together.

In the meantime, here are a few easy/sexy costume ideas off the top of my head. Some I’ve used before, some are new…

The Miami Face Eater (flesh tone body suit, heavy red lips)

Wynona Rider in Beetlejuice

A sexy therapist (this is basically  just a good excuse to bring your entire prescription regimen to the party, shame-free)

A sexy zookeeper. JK.

Bianca Jagger on the cover of the January 1973 issue of  Interview

Me

Blythe Danner giving birth to a baby Gwyneth (use a doll as the baby prop, do not use an actual newborn)

Hope that these ideas work for your needs or at least inspire your inner slut costume spirit. Have funsies but be careful, costume parties can be very tricky. The last time I went to one, I went home with James Franco (again) when I totally meant to go home with Dave Franco.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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