Ask Babe: Freaky Thursday

Babe,

What are your thoughts on BDSM? Whips and leather, chic or not chic?

Love You,

M*****

 

Bound Beauty,

The short answer is yes. Whips, leather, straps, oils, electric nipple clamps, latex, handcuffs and ropes are all very chic. This look is, however, slightly off season. I pride myself in being a free spirit in the bedroom/dungeon/grotto if the vibe is right, but it’s all a bit wintery. Am I wrong? BDSM may be sexy, but it’s so dark. Like, I couldn’t handle getting down with some handcuffs knowing that there are gorgeous rays of vitamin d showering my front lawns. I’d much rather enjoy my sexual partner du jour in the wild. Now, I don’t know where you live. But if it’s less Beverly Hills and more Kosovo, then I suppose you can let your sexy darkness fly freely year-round. In this case, go the fuck for it.

As long as the type of sex you have makes you feel fabulous about yourself, there’s no harm done. If your spirit animal is a boar’s hair whip, so be it! If you’re attracted to Eminem, that’s totally fine! I had a boyfriend once, who will remain nameless in consideration of his privacy (but I can tell you that he was on Road Rules and he’s very short), and he was into latex. He was into anything plastic actually. At first, I couldn’t get into his “toy” games, but eventually strapping on a pair of sparkly jelly sandals and stomping his balls was as easy as riding a bike. Super fun, super safe, and actually very empowering.

Trust me, every psycho out there has a list of nasty fetishes, and if they say they don’t then they’re going straight to hell for being lying sacks of poo. Just kidding, I don’t believe in hell. But I do believe that rapists go somewhere like Dillards when they die. ANYWAYS. I’m so tired. It’s so early.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • KB

    ew, where is there a Dillard”s? Oh, hell. Duh.

  • Ali

    By Dillards you mean Dillmart.