Ask Babe: Single White Brother

Dear Babe,

I got a little problem; my little brother has become psycho. He is like a little copy of me. I recently moved to Paris and since then he has moved in to take over my life back home. It started with him copying my way of dressing which was actually kinda cute but now it’s gone overboard. I found pictures of him that are exact copies of some older pictures of mine and copied my manners and my likes. He now has started hanging out with my friends who are all way older than him. I kinda fear getting stabbed in the night by him even though we live 600 kilometers apart.

I know you must have experience with this so how the fuck do I fix him without getting him locked in a psycho ward for both his and my safety?

Help,

J*****

 

Big Brother,

I’m basically obsessed with your story. There are few things I love more than an identity-stealing psychopath and the brother element is taking it to another level. So, congrats. Your brother sounds like total psycho boyfriend material. How old is he? Maybe you should start dressing like him when he was an infant. Find pictures of him as a kid and recreate those looks. You’ll lose a lot of friends over this but it might be worth it in the long run. He’ll get the point. I just don’t want him to poison you in your sleep and do to you what this Dutch artist did to his dead cat:

Good luck.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • Haley

    Before I read “Dear big brother” , I thought this was a woman .