Armani Privé Couture = Single White Female

We’ve all been there. You meet a girl at a party. She seems beautiful and cool and she keeps telling you how pretty you are. Before you know it, you’re lunching regularly.

Then her boyfriend breaks up with her and she asks to move into your guest house.

Then there’s an “accident” and the guest house burns down and she asks to move into your real house.

She starts stealing your clothes.

Then she starts stealing your friends.

Then she outshines you at your own dinner party.

You sneak off to your psychic in an attempt to do some karmic research. Surely she’s not trying to be you…right? You must be crazy.

Meanwhile, she sneaks off to your boyfriend’s house and fucks him.

Then your boyfriend breaks up with you for “no reason.” You’re devastated.

You’re boyfriend-less, your friends are starting to turn on you, and half your wardrobe is missing. Also, your dog just mysteriously drowned in the infinity pool.

You get home one night, feeling lonely and tired. Your new “friend” tells you to get dressed up because she’s taking you out for a drink.

And then she poisons you.

Nobody suspects her of foul play, because she’s led everyone to believe you had a “serious drug problem,” and you “shouldn’t have mixed alcohol with Xanax.” She shows up to your funeral and cries the loudest.

Behold the Dark Queen.

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