Ask Babe: Academia Woes

Dear Babe,

I’m so over college. It’s so boring and the professors are pretentious, most of the students/pseudo-adults are pretentious and hard to relate to, and drink so much alcohol- looks-wise, their skin is 22 going on 49. All I’ve been thinking the past few years is how much I want to go home and go on vacations with my family where I can go to five course dinners and spas and properly cleaned pools. Is there anything to going to college? It’s so tedious.

M****

 

Spoiled Ass Bitch,

You sound like me when I was in college. I went to 5 universities in 3 years. Yes. I have been down that dirty path called academia and it is no trip to the spa, je comprends bien. But the truth is, you’re just having a bad day and you emailed me because you don’t actually know me so I can’t “actually” judge you for complaining like the whiny, whiny psycho that you truly are.

Harsh. Sorry. I’m in a bad mood because my bangs are curling weird.

Stick with it. College, I mean. Let us not forget what it’s  done for the career of Haley Joel Osment.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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