Do: Wear entirely Louis Vuitton. I suggest a jeweled jacket from F/W 2012. I know it’s hot, but deal with it.
Do: Carry a Longchamp bag, if you must. Today is the only day I will condone that kind of behavior.
Do: Have sex to the Les Misérables soundtrack. Super emotional and dark.
Don’t: Cut your hair off, a la Anne Hathaway. Those kind of decisions never end well.
Don’t: Have a threesome that ends in an Eiffel Tower.
Don’t: Baguette. Unless you’re in Paris. And even then, 1-3 bites.
Do: Go to Paris. Now.
Do: Invite me to come with you if you’re flying private.
Do: Send your ex boyfriend a gift basket if he’s in jail.
Do: Be inspired by the epic chicness that is Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and spend the rest of the month emulating her French First Lady looks.
Don’t: Chanel flap bags. Over it.
Do: Eat one truffle macaron from Pierre Hermé. Trust me on this. They have shimmer on them and they taste like an orgasm feels.