Ask Babe: While You Were Sleeping

Dear Babe,

First, I’d like to thank you for providing guidance on my life so far. Reading your book was a pivotal time in my life. You helped me get the motivation to lose those last five pounds that I did not want haunting me, so thank you.

Second, there’s this guy who I am really attracted to, and he just got a concussion. Is it bad if I pretend that we were secretly sleeping together in order to get things moving along? Let me know if this is taboo or not.




Huge Psycho,

I love it. It’s not too taboo and it’s not not too taboo. It’s the perfect amount of taboo. It’s the perfect approach to your situation. The fate of love has tapped you on the tits and given you a nudge in the vagina and you mustn’t ignore it. Seize the day and seize your dead boyfriend.

Oh, and you’re welcome re: the five pounds. Besides that, you really didn’t need to email me. You have this.

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