This is me taking a moment to congratulate America on not being a douchebag for one second. If I learned anything in seventh grade Social Studies with that really hot teacher who was too young for the job and hit on all of us, it’s that The US hasn’t exactly exemplified “chic” over the years. America just doesn’t doesn’t seem to inspire chicness amongst its clients as naturally as some European and Asian countries. Last night, however, voters made it clear that what matters most in this country is not the economy, or healthcare, or whatever I’m sleeping. Yes, those things are major for some people’s parents and I get that. But last night, psychos came out in droves to remind the world that we do care about chic. We care about women. We care about gays. We care about being less douchy than our parents, and I also get that.