Sunday Prayers With Babe Walker

Let’s pray for all of you psychos who are going to sleep with an unsavory  type while you’re home for the holidays this week because it’s easy and you hate yourself.

Home is a place where you’re surrounded by people who you grew up with, people who may have even known you when you were fat and are still willing to talk to you. It can be dangerous terrain for the single psycho. I get it, I’ve been there. Over Christmas break one time while I was in college, I slept with these twin brothers (separately) because I thought it was funny but really I was depressed about being single. I was still hot and they were still short and I will never be able to take those two nights back.

So, don’t do it. Don’t sleep with your high school boyfriend again, don’t sleep with your latin tutor again, and please don’t sleep with your cousin through marriage again.

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