I took your advice and got on How About We. So far I’ve gone on one date that didn’t work out and one date that actually was kind of amazing. The guy lives in my area, works for a cool industrial design firm and is totally adorable. His look is a bit more “California skater” than I would normally go for, but I’ve accepted that nothing is perfect. He took me to dinner at great sushi place i’d been wanting to try for over a year and then we went go see Silver Linings Playbook, which I totally loved.
I do have one big issue at this point. At the end of the date, he walked me to my place and then kissed me on the cheek. At first I thought, “how cute, he’s being such a gentleman o the first date”, but then he told me that he is a born-again virgin and that he wont be having sex ‘again’ until he is married. What the fuck?
Dear Every Girl On the Bachelor Right Now,
Really glad that you’re getting out there via HowAboutWe.com, but this particular evangelist doesn’t seem like a good fit for you, or for most people who are online dating. I mean I’m all for people believing in stuff, but there are plenty of PG-13 dating sites out there for people who want to dry-hump only.
Life is way too fucking short to wait for someone who is on a completely different planet than you are in terms of values. Dating someone is hard enough even when you are perfectly matched. Plus if you ever got into a fight with him about how he won’t fuck you until you are married, you won’t be able to have make-up sex with him after you kiss and make up. So it’s a double whammy here.
Move on to someone who has less interest in The Lord our Savior and more interest in your vagina. Comprende?