Ask Babe: Still Stoned

Babe,

What do you recommend for me to rejuvenate myself after smoking too much weed last night? I just awoke and am still contemplating where I am, who I am, why this is happening, why I was not born Lauren Bush Lauren, etc. Guide me. Please.

G***

 

Jenna Bush,

All too often, I find myself waking up still kind of stoned, but too tired to work out or make a smoothie and too tired to even go back to sleep. It’s awful, and mostly means I’ve smoked the wrong weed the night before. One time I smoked a joint of Kush first thing in the morning, and ended up spending the entire day watching old episodes of Frasier and then fell asleep on a couch for 18 hours straight. Never again. I learned the hard way that Indicas are not for me, and to only smoke Sativas. I suggest Blue Dream. So just think about that.

In the meantime, here’s what you need to do:

Get out of bed

Drink 3 huge glasses of water with lemon

Book a massage.

Go to the massage.

Pick up a carrot juice, a green juice and and all natural/organic almond milk from your local juicery.

Come home.

Drink a carrot juice.

Take a shower and put a deep conditioning mask on your hair.

Blow dry.

Get back in bed.

Drink a green juice.

Go to sleep for two hours.

Wake up.

Drink the almond milk.

Go back to bed.

I promise you will arise tomorrow feeling like today never happened. Namaste.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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