I Have An Addiction, Sir

My therapist recently challenged me to not spend any money on clothes for a month, which may sound easy, but lest you forget: shopping is my heroin, dressing rooms are my syringes and credit cards are my rubber tie thingies. This isn’t a secret, and I don’t feel weird about it, because it’s who I am. 

I resolved to prove to Susan (therapist) that I could curb my spending for a month, but after 24 hours of no shopping, I was in a downward spiral of painful withdrawal symptoms. I was begging my local smoothie barista, Tilda, to pre-order the S/S ’13 Miu Miu sunglasses for me while explaining my situation to her, when she told me about a website called Bib & Tuck where you can buy clothes without spending any actual money. Apparently it’s a trade based shopping program where you “bib” (sell) your clothes/bags/jewelry and earn “bucks” so you can “tuck” (buy) other people’s stuff.

“There is no way this can be chic,” I thought to myself. But then I created an account and discovered that there was indeed a lot of chicness to be had. Like this clutch:

And this fur:

And this shirt that’s giving me Jean Paul Gaultier 90’s realness:

And these vintage Givenchy earrings:

All of which I will promptly be tucking as soon as I bib all my unwanted Christmas presents. So see, there is hope after all! And fuck you, Susan. My vintage archives will be able to put my great great granddaughters through college, therapy and rehab when I’m long gone.

P.S. – If any of you psychos are dying to sign up for Bib & Tuck, you can do so by using the invitation code: whitegirlproblems or just click here. You’re welcome.

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