An Open Letter To Taylor Swift

Hey Tay. What Up Girl? (JK)

Even though I don’t like you very much or care about your life, I’m pretty sure I want you to find happiness/love. Maybe it’s because I’m such a good person or maybe it’s because I believe there is still enough light in the world to turn a black heart good. Who knows. 

Okay, so you have this late night stalker who swam to your beach estate (that you bought when you wanted to be a Kennedy). And you’re kind of freaked out. And you’re probably feeling vulnerable. And you’re definitely feeling dumb for buying that house in the first place.

I get it. I’ve been there.

But before you judge, ask yourself this: would you swim across a lake in the middle of the night, break onto private property, risk jail time, public embarrassment, and possibly death for someone you’ve never met but were totally obsessed with and thought you might one day write a song about? If the answer is yes (and we all know it is), then I’ve seen enough spiritualist’s to know that this is the universe reaching out to you.

Congratulations Taylor! I think you’ve found Mr. Swift.




4 responses to “An Open Letter To Taylor Swift”

  1. Jessica Avatar

    Yes! There is someone as crazy as Taylor! Her fans!!

  2. Chloé Avatar

    Hahahaha figures she would find a psycho as her soulmate its a match made insane.

  3. Your friend. Avatar
    Your friend.

    The house was the one she JUST bought on RI, not the one on Cape Cod. Get it together, girl.

  4. Bee Avatar

    Haha I fucking love you babe

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