A Call To Arms

I had a horrible daymare during a nap last week in which I was trying to wear a vintage gold coin Chanel cuff on my bicep (like I do with most cuff/bangle accessories) but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t budge past my forearm.  It’s finally happened, I thought. My BMI has surpassed 17. I woke up scream-crying so loudly that Mabinty almost had me 5150′d…again. Instead of feeling defeated, scared or suicidal, I’m choosing to take this gruesome experience as a sign from the Universe that I should be doing more arm exercises. So I came up with this arm workout that I want to share with all of you psychos:

Babe Walker’s Skinny Arm Routine:

Turn the heat in your house/personal gym up to at least 90 degrees. I prefer 103 because that’s a powerful number for me, but it’s your arms/your life.

Warm up with this Tracy Anderson video:

Best to mute this and put your own music on. Tracy’s whole beach vibe is so weird. Like where is she even? Embarrassing.

After you’ve warmed up, do this Tracy video. Repeat 3x.

Now do this one once, while pretending you’re Gwyneth.

Take a break. You’ve earned it. Stretch, drink a liter of some electrolyte infused, PH balanced water and watch this video of Tracy and Gwyneth working out together. So cute.

Now it’s time for cardio. I recommend turning on Iron Man 3 and watching it while running on the treadmill the entire time. I’ve done this routine every day for a week and can safely say that my arms have never looked better.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.

Barbara Fialho by Fernando Mazza

This entry was posted in Body, Exercise, Health, I Am Health, Jewelry. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Julia

    The day I pretend to be fucking Paltrow will BE the fucking day…said the girl with the 4.5 inch wrists. Do the math.

  • ertyui

    what happened to sunday prayers WHAT THE FUCK BABE

  • scarlett

    genuinely thinking of trying this but instead of 2 hours and 10 minutes of treadmill i think i’ll go with 45 minutes of elliptical… lol

  • ChornayaKoshka

    Babe, this is stupid. If you exercise you might build muscle, which will make squeezing that vintage gold Chanel cuff onto your bicep even more challenging. Just starve yourself instead.