So I went to my very first NBA game two nights ago in LA, and by first NBA game I’ve ever been to, I mean first NBA game I’ve been to without being 100% high on Valium. So, it felt like my first. Coincidentally (or maybe not), it also happened to be the very first professional American sports game (match? meet?) with an openly gay athlete on the floor.
Unfortunately for me, that didn’t mean the experience was anything like the giant, athletic themed pride parade I was looking forward to. Instead, there were just a bunch of really sweaty people throwing a ball into different hoops, rules I didn’t understand (or want to understand), and a cohort of really sad cheerleaders who appeared to all have the same breast implants. The oysters and Dom Perignon I was offered in the box I was sitting in was at once incredibly chic and absolutely repulsive. It’s weird, because I’m always one for oysters but there’s something disturbing about anything raw being served inside a large room while sports are happening merely feet away. Anyways, the game was whatever, Jason was amazing (even though I didn’t really know what was going on), I gave one of the Jenner sisters the finger, and I realized that I don’t think I like baseball.