Sunday Prayers With Babe Walker

Beyoncé once said:

“I’m always happy when I’m surrounded by water. I think I’m a mermaid. Or I was a mermaid. The ocean makes me feel really small and it puts my whole life in perspective.”

The reason I’m bringing this up now is because I’ve become increasingly (and at this point disturbingly) concerned with the rumors I’m hearing about this Little Mermaid live-action “film” that Hollywood is threatening us with. I guess Sofia Coppola is directing it which is fine but still, and last night my intern texted me to tell me that Emma Watson went in for ANOTHER meeting with the studio. I obv told him to keep me posted at all times but I hate him and myself for it.

I’m just putting this out there: there is no way this can work. I don’t care who’s in it.

A thin mermaid gives away her voice to a fat mermaid so that she can see a male human again. With Emma Watson or some other (also British) version of Emma Watson. Ok sure, people. Okkayyyy.

Please, if anyone out there is listening, leave one of my most beloved chicspiration films of all time alone. Ariel deserves better than this. And as a fellow mermaid, so does Beyoncé.

Pray with me. Namaste.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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