Babe Walker’s Guide To Halloween

Is Halloween cute? Is it chic? I honestly don’t know. Every year my opinion on the whole mess of it changes. Like, once at a Halloween party in NYC, stylist and friend, Brad Goreski, came dressed as Anna Dello Russo and that was chic. And he went all the way in, so much so that I barely recognized him. So, fine. Sometimes it’s chic. But once I went to a house party here in Beverly Hills dressed as Geena Davis in A Long Kiss Goodnight (chic) and there was nothing to drink besides some sort of buttery, rum punch (not chic!!!!). Either way, beware of ghouls, ghosts, murderers etc, but also beware of invitations to parties that might be filled with basics.

Do: Hot yoga twice daily for the four days leading up to Halloween.

Don’t: Buy/wear anything that has the word “costume” on the tag or label.

Don’t: Candy Corn.

Do: Dye your hair for a night.

Don’t: If somebody close to you asks to borrow ANYTHING from your precious vintage Pucci collection because they’re being someone from fucking Boogie Nights or some shit, the answer is always and forever: NO.

Do: If someone holds a gun to your head and forces you to dress as a witch or a member of The Craft, incorporate Prada.

Do: Tell people you don’t like that they look the best you’ve ever seen them look and you’re shocked.

Don’t: Haunted houses.

Do: An Ursula moment.

Don’t: LSD, mushrooms, peyote, psilocybin, PCP.

Do: Invite three friends that you’re not in a fight with over to drink tequila and watch Jamie Lee Curtis movies with. Even the not scary ones are on theme for the holiday.

 

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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